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Anguish of A Soul
The story of Lot
By Gary Israel
 

Oh Lord, how black my night has come to this that I’ve been saved
The lowest depth my soul to plumb my demons so depraved

All I knew is wiped away, a lifetime gone in smoke
Acid dreams fill every night, in sweated fear awoke

Lost, oh lost, My dreams all lost, Oh rue that fateful day
Oh, had I but turned ‘round to glance, and found sweet death to stay

Instead within this cave of pain, alive, I’m all to blame
To look upon filth’ progeny and know from whence they came

Two sons from incest’s daughters, they grow within each womb
Had I but known what we’d become, I’d rather known my tomb

For once I sat besides his chair an uncle straight and pure
His eyes so clear, and in his voice I’d heard God’s righteous roar

Took me in, and fed my soul and put me on the path
Too quickly did I part from him, my fortune found His wrath

The gold and silks and Sodom’s lure gave spawn to prideful lust
For treasured place amongst the damned, their favor and their trust

I should have known the lowest job within His righteous camp
Was higher than the King’s gold throne ablaze with evil’s stamp

Sweet baby’s sold into the trade or wed to darkness’ gore
Swaying with the ecstasy of sadists’ rapture lore

They dared not give a stranger, a kindly place to sleep
Rather rob him of his things and beat him in the street

For they would grab and rape his wife if she had caught their eye
The weak and poor they had no place beneath Gomorrah’s sky

That all but wealth and rich had best to stay outside the walls
The tortured cried to heaven, that Hashem might hear their calls

And here I chose to build my place, to dwell upon the edge
And try to keep my soul alive and stay above the dredge

To walk with them in golden robes, and offer daughter’s hands,
In marriages to their men that we might live within their lands

So vain to think that I could live and walk amongst the swine
And not pick up the stench of sin, and loose this soul of mine 

Yes, I of all, I should have known, my Uncle taught me well
But blinded by ambitions greed, I rushed, my soul to sell

A wife I found within their ways, her wiles were my delight
Her tender touch and softened words, a lust I could not fight

Each time I’d turn my face to east, she’d pull me back to bed
To lose her and our favored life was all that I could dread

And then one day, I got their vote, and earned a favored place
They made of me a judge and on their coins they stamped my face

I thought I’d made it to the top, and now could change their way
I’d slowly bring them back to God; I thought I’d make them sway

And so that night, that fateful night when sitting by the wall
Those pallid strangers came to me; I thought I heard their call

Come stay within my house I urged them, knowing all to well
That in my friends and countrymen a hate would grow and swell

The masses came outside our door; our neighbors’ made a fuss
“Where are these men you sought to shield?”  You must give them to us

“Turn them out unto our hands; you know we hate the stranger”
“Turn them out or face our wrath, your family’s in danger!”

I thought to offer up my girls, to mitigate their plan
My daughters should have been my prize; they’d not been touched by man

Yet they would be my sacrifice so I could keep my pride
And show the rabble I could be above the low and snide

Yes, I would rather loose my kin than show that I’d back down
That I’d still be a wealthy man, and save my own renown

But lo - those Strangers, stranger still, than ever had a birth
For these were angels of the lord to bring their death to earth

They struck the mob with blindness, and They turned them too and fro
Then pointed to the mountains, and told us we must go

“Take not your wealth, just run yourselves, beware lest you look back!
Salvation has been granted, though your virtue’s surely lack…..

For if you have regrets to leave, and thus have failed to learn
And mourn the folks you leave behind, their fate is yours to earn!”

We ran that night; we ran so hard, the lightening crackled high
And then the shaking earth foretold the city was to die

All we’d known, and all we had, would vanish in a flash
Amidst the justice of the Lord, we heard the mighty crash

Oh wife, my wife, she’d had to leave her riches in her vault
She dared to turn and look behind, and she was turned to salt

And when I gazed into her eyes, I knew that she was gone
And all that we had known and loved, no more to build upon

We’d bought a life, our souls in debt, and now the bill came due
And when I kissed her lifeless lips, I knew that it was through

Her once black eyes went white and glazed, her face reflective pale
And now a statue made of salt, was frozen like the hail

Somehow we fled, I don’t know how, in horror and in grief
All I had was stripped away as if by some great thief

I ran all night, and ne’er looked back, my daughters still in tow
Until collapsing within this cave, our fate we could not know

Dear God, the added agony, I’d lied to both my girls
I’d told – I thought - the end of flesh, was put upon the world 

I’d lied that they would flee with me, before the city’s plight
And so they sought to get me drunk and lay with me that night

The poor girls’ wretched misery, they’d thought we were the last
They planned to keep our race alive through incest’s dark repast

And now to see they’re near crazed looks, when from the cave we crept
And found the world of men survived, they tore their hair and wept

Oh keep me drunken, oblivion, my life, there is no life
Had I’d but stayed and died that day along with friends and wife

Let all men read my epitaph, let all men come to quote
That greed and lust and arrogance, had brought the end of Lot!

~~~~~~~~~~

Posted on November 13, 2005
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